Mind the gap

Since understanding the principles there are many things that have massively changed for me. Two examples; I now have happier, healthier relationships (if you are reading this Andrew, just nod and smile 😉) and finally passing my driving test.
Two things I never would have believed available to me.

When I share with other people how these things have changed for me I can sometimes see people thinking “well that’s lovely for you, but I don’t need to pass my test/I have a healthy happy relationship, so this understanding doesn’t have anything to offer me”

So, rather than talk about what has changed for me in specific areas I thought I would share, what I consider, the 4 impersonal byproducts of understanding the principles
(words are woefully inadequate, so please connect with the feeling beyond the words, and – as Michael Neill says – “It’s this, but not this”)

1. The Gap:

Understanding that I don’t have to believe the thought I am having in the moment somehow opens up a gap between having the thought and believing the thought so I act from that belief.
It is surprising how much of a difference it can make to have a milli-second mind gap between having a thought and believing it to be absolute and true. For me, I suppose that milli-second allows the still, quiet voice to gently remind me that a thought isn’t truth. And that gentle reminder somehow takes the sting from whatever thought I might be having.

2. State of mind:

My day to day experience, since first seeing the illusion of thought for what it is, has improved dramatically. My state of mind, most of the time, is healthier and clearer. My general wellbeing has improved in ways I could never have predicted, or would even have asked for (you know, if I was being given 3 wishes!).
Don’t get me wrong, I have moment (hours, days & weeks) sometimes where it feels as though my healthy state of mind was the illusion. But, without any exception, pointing back in the direction of where my experience is coming from (thought in the moment, in case you haven’t read one of my blogs before!) brings me back to a healthy, balanced state of mind.

3. Quality of thought content:

I see a lot of people trying to control their thoughts and aiming to be positive – this looks to me like an uphill slog. It is built into the system that thought will change – we are not fixed.

I have no control over what thoughts come to me in any given moment; positive or negative (though even these are just labels – thoughts – themselves, but perhaps that topic is for another blog)
When I explain to people that this system is self-correcting I often get the question “so then what’s the point of understanding this?”

Good question; what does this understanding give me – the more I look to understand where my experience is coming from the more I find a variety of thoughts are available to me. A plethora of thoughts in any given moment, numerous possibilities. And, most of the time (see previous comment re state of mind!!) those thoughts are of a higher quality than before I understood this system.

4. Letting yourself off the hook:

Now I see that I only ever do what I do with the thinking I have in the moment, and thinking will change, I find myself letting me off the hook when I do something that, on reflection, didn’t feel like the best action.
Letting yourself off the hook is a massive weight off your own shoulders, because you really aren’t in control anyway, and allows the system to keep doing what it does best – offering new thought and allowing life to unfold.
I have found that none of these things are a ‘doing’ – I never spend time choosing to clear my state of mind or visualising the letting go of baggage, for example.
These things are simply unfolding before me, as a natural byproduct as I continue to look to where my experience comes from.

These 4 natural, impersonal, byproducts are available to everyone as insights come your way and understanding deepens.

This is where it gets personal; the specific byproducts in your own life will be personal to you, it might not be passing your test, but your experience will be perfectly designed for you, in your life. Enjoy!!




Blank canvas

I was talking with Fred tonight and while we were chatting he was also playing on his piano. He was ad-libbing; playing what came to him to play rather than a prepared song or a known tune. It was rather beautiful.

He said how much he enjoys playing from that space, a kind of blank canvas (or music sheet!)

Lucy and I had been having a similar conversation earlier.

For me it looks like this:

The principles point us to a really simple understanding that everything comes to us via thought.

The principle of thought (e.g. we have thinking and in any given moment we experience the feeling that accompanies the thought) is impersonal, and thoughts come and go. It is a principle (or constant) so it is true for each of us even if we don’t know it. However, the thoughts themselves (e.g. the content “I don’t like this job” etc) are personal and they create our individual experience, moment to moment.

Knowing this to be true somehow allows our personal thoughts to have less of a hold over us. The more I look to this understanding the less I am taken in by the illusion created when I have thoughts (except when I am!).

I have found that I have little (or no) control over what thoughts come and go, and I don’t even believe I control which ones I attach to and which ones pass through without my interference. But what I have found is that the more i am involved in this conversation (pointing back to the principles in action), that somehow my thoughts let go of me. There is no doing involved here.

And in knowing that a thought is going to let me go, every moment allows a re-creation of who I am, a blank canvas is presented and art (or in Fred’s case, music) is created.

When I am in flow with this system, when I am allowing it to unfold I am not even doing the creating. Words (music, art or anything else) are moving through me and I am simply the observer of what is being created on the blank canvas I call Beccy.

Art in its finest form

Selfish or Essential

Have you ever noticed how, once you become aware of something, you see it everywhere?
For example, a year ago I was looking to buy a car and I was interested in a Peugeot 107 – suddenly I saw them everywhere I went; red ones, black ones, yellow ones, 4-door, 2-door, even the Citroen and Toyota versions. Once something is in our awareness we are ‘tuned’ to spotting it. This doesn’t just work for physical objects either.
This year I am planning to create an impossible project (or do more of what I love!) – more on this to come later – and since deciding this, everywhere I look I notice others talking about the same sort of thing.
The other topic that seems to be in my awareness recently is ‘taking care of self’ or ‘self-love’ as I prefer to call it; more specifically whether it is selfish to look after yourself, have some ‘me time’ and do things that you enjoy.
I keep seeing posts on facebook, reading blogs about this topic and there is a small voice inside my head that keeps pointing my to talk about this. So, here it is

I am guessing most of you (I imagine I am talking to thousands of people, but in reality the 3 of you that read my blog!) have been on an aeroplane at some point in your life, right?
If you are a dutiful passenger, like me, you will no doubt know the safety announcement fairly well. There is part where you are clearly told that if the cabin pressure drops, and oxygen is required, face masks will drop from the ceiling for you. You are then told, very clearly, to ensure your own mask is in place before helping anyone else.
I don’t have children but I imagine the idea of not sorting your child out before you fix your own mask goes very much against your instincts.
And yet, you can really see the logic behind this. If you are desperately fighting for oxygen and trying to fix a mask on someone else’s face, you can really see that it is likely you wont be much help and possibly even an hindrance. The end result may even be that neither of you have access to oxygen. On the flipside, if you get your mask securely in place and you are comfortably breathing, it will be so much easier to reach over and help the person (or your child) next to you from your clear oxygenated brain.

If you haven’t worked out where I am going with this yet I would be surprised, but allow me to continue anyway!

When we look after ourselves – in whatever way that might be – we give ourselves the head space to be clear. From that space we have so much more to give to others – if they need us.

I have heard people say that it is selfish to spend time looking after yourself when someone else clearly needs you. I can absolutely see that it can seem to go against our instincts to look after ourselves especially, I imagine, if you have children or dependants seemingly demanding time and attention.

One of the amazing gifts that understanding the principles has given me is to truly know, innately, that I am OK no matter what. This has really helped me to free up some space in my brain to be there for others. And on occasions where my brain feels fogged with thoughts, ‘me time’ consists of looking back to the principles to remind myself that I am OK and I am feeling my thinking. It usually doesn’t take long for me to find my clarity again and from there I am of much more use to someone else.

Ultimately, looking after me is one of the least selfish things I can do!

Murder Mystery

I have just arrived home from an incredible experience! For those of you who haven’t been following my blog before – I have a list: My Eternal To Do List (https://beccywarrior.wordpress.com/etdl-list/?frame-nonce=12ec10c21f) which contains all of the things I would really like to do, experience or try in my lifetime – it is constantly changing (because I am constantly changing!). One of the items on my list was to attend a Murder Mystery evening. For an early birthday present Lucy took me to Mercure Newton Park Hotel, Burton-on-Trent last night for just that. It was such a good evening!!

We had to meet in the bar at 7.30 and the evening would begin from there. As we arrived at the bar, there was already a queue for drinks and in true British style we joined the end of the queue. Me with my notepad and pens, ready to solve and murder and Lucy ready for her first (of many) glasses of wine. Moments after joining the queue the ladies in front of us turned around and asked if we were there for murder mystery…. And new friendships were born! We sat with our new friends, Karen and Ingrid, once we had our drinks and started voicing our thoughts on what might happen throughout the evening.

We were sat with another couple who also joined in with our speculation. One of the cast arrived in the bar to inform us that soon the ‘characters’ would start to arrive, they would mingle with us and introduce themselves. We could start to ask them questions and get a feel for who they were. And the evening began…. the ‘detective’ informed us there had been a suspicious death!!

We were shown to our tables for the evening, where our meals would be served and the characters would join us. Fortunately, our new best friends were sat at our table (thank you universe!) and we had one of the characters – Alex Brown – at our table! I really enjoyed getting into the story, asking Alex questions and looking at the ‘evidence’ on the boards as our meal was served.

Throughout the meal the characters moved around the room, sometimes joining different tables, giving us a chance to question them all. At different times throughout the evening the characters took centre stage, interacting with each other to give us ‘clues’ and ‘red herrings’. The inspector updated us on the progress of the death – it was murder!!!!

Slowly, we started to piece together a tale of corruption, torrid affairs and finally a second murder!

The ‘show’ ended with each of being able to guess who the murderer was – don’t worry, no spoilers – and the cast then introducing themselves to us as themselves.

We finished the evening in the bar with our new friends re-living the fun of the show!

A fantastic evening, brilliant cast, great story, lovely food, fantastic staff at the hotel and some fantabulous new friends!

Another one ticked off the list 😊


Holding hands with God

I chose the title of this blog because I heard someone use this phrase at the weekend and I really liked it…! Now I have to think of something to say that maybe relates to it…..over to God…..

I had an insight some time ago about being in ‘flow’ – by this I mean being in line with how the system, the universe, life works. As far as I can see it only works one way…. From the inside out – we experience everything through the gift of thought. When we understand this, insightfully, a natural by product is that life flows more easily. That is not to say that things don’t happen that I perhaps wouldn’t have chosen, but that when they do I am less likely to ‘fight’ what is and find myself being more accepting.
For me, this acceptance could be called being at one with nature or ‘holding hands with God’ (phew, I did it!!).

I can definitely say that during the more recent years of my life I have held hands with God on a regular basis. And it is so freeing – to know that the weight of the world isn’t in my hands!

I have come across a number of people (and I used to be one of them) who, given the chance would asked to be freed from their suffering. Understanding the inside out nature of life doesn’t offer freedom from suffering. The freedom comes from having a different experience of suffering.

Lucy and I regularly have conversations about being ‘signed up for the full tour’. It is a phrase that we have shamelessly stolen (and butchered!) from Michael Neill. Here is what I heard when he spoke about this:

If you were an alien (something I am sure I must be seen as by some people….. ) booking a trip to earth and you are given two options – the short, whistle stop tour; a few small cities, a brief look at a lake or river, to meet one or two human beings and a brief conversation with a passer-by OR you can take the full tour; visit every country; tour every major and minor city; see breath-taking scenery; lakes, mountains, canals, rainforests; immerse yourself in the culture and history of many different nations and tribes; have conversations with human beings from all walks of life; see the good, the bad and the ugly – which one would you choose. Honestly, I would always go for the full tour – I mean, who wouldn’t?

And it feels to me as though that is what I have signed up for in life – the whole tour, the ups and down, the highs and lows, the good and the bad. Including the suffering. And in knowing I am fully signed up and being sure that, regardless of what I see and experience on this tour, God has my hand at all times (ooh I did it again!) – I experience suffering entirely differently.

 Thank God

(Disclaimer: Something else that stuck with from this weekend which was about not listening to the words but hearing the truth behind the words. I really like being reminded of this, as someone who tries (!!!) to put some of my thoughts into words – it is great to remember that truth is never in the words but in what the words are pointing to)



The system

In the last few weeks I have been re-immersing myself in the principles. I have been listening to short you tube videos, reading bits on facebook or elsewhere, talking to Lucy and Deb a fair bit and just doing what I can to remind myself where my experience is coming from.

Fact 1. All of the time, without question, every single experience I am having is coming to me via thought.

Fact 2. Thought changes.
I know this to be true, I have ‘tested’ it and see it happening all the time – to me and to other people. It is so incredibly amazing to watch the light switch back on in someone’s eyes when a new thought comes along that they like better than the last one. It is such a beautiful feeling, and one I often feel physically, when a new thought comes along that only moments ago looked impossible. It can feel like a weight being removed from the soul. The heart opens, and life feels full of possibility, love and space again.

Here is what I love the most about knowing these two facts;
Even when I am caught in a thought storm of epic proportion (and thankfully these happen less for me compared to 4 years ago, but still look, feel and taste as real when they do come along!) a little voice inside reminds me that I am experiencing thought and thought changes….. thank God!

Where I can see that I trip myself up (and ignore the little voice!) is when I place a condition on those two facts…. I am OK as long as these thoughts pass quickly, I will be OK if I just knew the exact date / time when a new thought is on its way, well then, I could just relax and ‘enjoy’ the thought storm cos I know when it will come to an end.

But the system doesn’t work that way. It is inbuilt in the system (the principles) that new thought will come. We don’t have to do anything to make that happen – and I would even suggest not doing anything as the system is designed to work and our meddling in, like picking a scab, is more likely to prolong the healing.

The system just provides us with what we need to know in this precise moment, nothing more, nothing less. And, much to my annoyance, I do not need to know when a thought storm is going to pass. I only need to know that it will. Trust in the system, listening to that small voice reminding me, that is all I need in any given moment.

I was talking to a friend today and found myself sharing some of what I have written above. It occurred to me as I wrote this, and as it often does after such a conversation, that these little pearls of wisdom are for my benefit as much as (if not more than) anyone I ever share them with.

I love that in the last few years I have been more and more open to hearing wisdom, and when I am listening I always hear what I need to know!
and just because I love it so much….. one of my favourite little quotes:


IMG_20171111_171230341[1187]Wednesday; Well, today has been a bit of a rollercoaster of emotions. After 5 days of deepening understanding, and incredible insights, feeling lighter and more peaceful than I have for some time, Wednesday arrived. And with it, a ‘thought storm’ of epic proportion!

I am so thankful that I can see thought for what it is and knowing that I don’t have to do anything to change it really helps. The knowledge that new thought will arrive when it is ready is such a relief – it is not my job to change my thinking or find new thought. It is just my job to turn up and be me, whether that is high as a kite or having the most ridiculous thoughts about a situation that hasn’t happened yet (and may never happen!)

One of the other themes of the weekend (at least, what I heard!) was about being yourself. I have gotten quite far away from being me in the last few months – slipped into the habit of ‘containing’ myself – afraid of what others might think of me and not fitting in to the life I have created anymore. I am tired of fitting into a life that no longer fits me and I am ready to be me and re-create my life to fit!

Saturday, 10am; Since Wednesday I have been in a really amazing space of being the ‘observer’ of my thoughts. It is hard to explain quite what I mean by this. I think the best metaphor I can come up with is standing next to a conveyor belt when luggage (thoughts) is passing by. Just like at the airport when you are waiting for your case – and you see one that looks a bit like it and go for it, then realise it isn’t so step back again. That is kinda how I am feeling at the moment – many thoughts are coming to me and they look a bit like mine but somehow they aren’t me. So, I am not collecting them, attaching to them, stepping into them (I feel my metaphor has fallen apart now, but you sort of get what I mean, right?)

I am due to be getting a tattoo this afternoon….It is on my ETDL (https://beccywarrior.wordpress.com/etdl-list/?frame-nonce=40faa4b61e). I have had a fair bit of thinking about it the last few days – it feels like a massive commitment to have a drawing on me for the rest of my life! And what if it hurts? Eeeek…..! In either ETDL news, I am going to War Memorial Park, Coventry tomorrow morning to join in with the Remembrance Sunday celebration and hoping to finally see inside the tower (fingers crossed there are no witches!!!) I also have plans to go to Think Tank next Saturday 😊 Sunday; I did it! OK, so it’s only very small, but I got a tattoo and I love it. It was actually a really lovely experience. As there were 6 of us getting tattoos together (a heart shape to represent the love of our family 😊) and it was truly lovely to share the experience, calming each other as a few of us were a little nervous! I also went along to the Remembrance Sunday event at Coventry War Memorial Park and finally got to see inside the tower. One of the reasons I created my ETDL was because of how much I enjoy living life and having new experiences. This weekend really reminded me again how much I enjoy the unexpected.